A Valentine for Rosalie
by paynesgrey
Summary: Jake gets his favorite blonde a gift, but she doesn't quite appreciate it. Jacob/Rosalie. Rosalie/Emmett. Renesmee/Jacob. Breaking Dawn spoilers. One-Shot.


AN: Done for the "Valentine's Day" oneshot challenge at switzerland100 at Livejournal. This is a oneshot and will not be continued.

A Valentine for Rosalie

Renesmee Cullen rested on her stomach, kicked her heels in the air and cupped her hands around her cheeks. She watched Jacob with intensity, her red eyes following his movements as he tied up the legs of his kill. She let out a bored sigh.

"Jake, I don't think Aunt Rosalie is going to like this very much," Renesmee said. Jacob shrugged his shoulders and lugged the large dead boar over his back. He laughed at her.

"Ah, don't worry about it, Nessie. She's going to _love_ it," Jacob said with a wide grin. Renesmee cocked her head and blew out a breath. She was no dummy; she knew Jacob was up to something.

--

Rosalie Hale stopped at the front door of her home, and she looked back at Emmett with a sniff. He grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes.

It had been nice to get away from a crowded house. There were too many people, either visiting or taking up residence at the Cullen home, and sometimes Rosalie just felt suffocated. For the afternoon, she and Emmett decided to get away, stock up on hunting, and take a detour to Canada for some shopping.

However, eventually they had to make their way back home, but Rosalie had hoped some of their more "unwanted" guests had left. No such luck, since she got a whiff of unpleasantness before coming through the door. She sighed. Despite Carlisle's smooth reminders, she didn't know if she'd ever get used to him.

She strode through the door with her chin in the air, and she sent the wolf an unpleasant glance before acknowledging his presence. "I see that smell is still here. Oh, it's you, fur ball." She glared at his feet propped up on Esme's 19th century French table. She bristled at the thought of his disgusting animal germs already smeared across the surface.

"Oh, Emmett and Blondie are home. I almost missed you, doll," Jacob cracked. Rosalie felt her temper rising. She could feel Emmett beaming behind her; she couldn't understand how he took such joy out of her tirades with Jacob.

Before Rosalie could chide him that this wasn't his home, Renesmee launched off the couch and embraced her happily. "Happy Valentine's Day, Aunt Rosalie. I made you this," Renesmee said, holding up a chiffon scarf.

"You made this?" Rosalie asked, caressing the periwinkle fabric.

"Yes, I read the book last week after Uncle Emmett said you like chiffon." The young woman grinned at her.

The scarf was flawless, and for someone who just read a book, it was eerily perfect. Even Renesmee still surprised her. "Impressive. Thank you; I adore it." Rosalie leaned in for another light hug.

Renesmee was satisfied with the response, and she buzzed over to the couch to plop onto Jacob's lap. Rosalie shot him a glare.

"What are you still doing here? Don't you have a pack of other beasts to order around?" she asked hotly.

"Relax, Ice Babe. I'm here to see Renesmee, or have you forgotten she's my mate now? You'll be seeing me more than ever," he said with a toothy grin. Rosalie groaned audibly.

"Well, there's no accounting for taste," Rosalie said, sighing heavily. Emmett sniggered behind her, and as Rosalie moved ahead, he followed behind.

--

When Rosalie and Emmett disappeared upstairs, Jacob rubbed his hands together in anticipation. Renesmee stared at the top of the steps, waiting.

"Jake, I have a bad feeling about this. Grandma Esme isn't going to appreciate the commotion," Renesmee warned again.

Jacob waved it off. "Meh, whatever. If anything it'll teach her to finally accept me into this family."

Renesmee looked exasperated. "It seems more counterproductive to me."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "There you go again, Nessie, using words that make my head hurt."

Suddenly, a throaty, demonic scream echoed throughout the household, and Jacob's eyes lit up in glee. "Ha!" he said, and he stood up as Rosalie bolted down the stairs in a flash and got in his face.

"You! How dare you? This is inconceivable! You're a brute. You shouldn't be allowed one foot in this house with your stench and bad manners! I should break your neck right now for your insolence!" she stormed at him.

"What, you don't like my Valentine's gift? I'm hurt, Blondie. I spent all afternoon finding that treat for you. It's not like I can return it either," Jacob said, faking his hurt feelings, which only seemed to enrage Rosalie even more.

"What ever gave you any idea I would accept food from you, let alone I'd want you to put it in my closet!" Rosalie pointed a finger at him.

Jacob was having a hard time holding back the laughter with his act. She looked so _pissed._

"Well, since you don't have a bed, I didn't know where else to put it," Jacob said with a shrug.

"Oh, I'll tell you where to put it, mongrel," Rosalie said, making a fist. Emmett seemed all too amused, and he laughed lightly behind her. She shot her mate a dirty look before settling her crazed eyes back on Jacob.

"What is this clamor?" a smooth feminine voice inquired. Everyone turned around and met Esme's curious face. "Rosalie, what's the meaning of this fight?"

"Jacob, here, gave me the most disgusting gift. There's boar's blood all over my clothes. I'm just telling him exactly how I feel about his bad manners," she said. She held up her long fingernails and cracked her knuckles. "And now, I'm going to settle this."

"Wait! Rosalie," said Carlisle behind Esme. Both of the parents were eerily calm, which was very like them. They smiled as if they hadn't a concern for the fight at all. "Please be so kind to take your argument outside. We just had these walls repainted."

"Oh, I do love this green color too. It reminds me of Ireland," Esme said. She lifted her hand up, and Carlisle kissed it as they got trapped in an old memory.

Jacob snorted. "Fine by me, Blondie. It's not my fault you can't just take a good gift like that and be happy." He lumbered outside as she followed him, pushing him from behind.

Jacob stumbled down the steps and regained his balance. He turned around with surprise. He didn't think she'd actually push him like he was some kind of child! He cracked a grin at her. This was getting _interesting_.

They paced around a circle, stalking each other like prey. Rosalie seemed more serious, and Jacob didn't doubt that she'd lunge for him in a second. He could see the anger in her eyes.

Behind him, he could feel Emmett and Renesmee watching them with interest, like they were some kind of sports TV show. Honestly, Jacob sort of liked the attention. Besides, seeing Rosalie get spitting mad at him was kind of hot – in a non-mate way, of course.

"Well, are you going to throw a punch or what?" Jacob called after her, sounding bored. She gnashed her teeth at him. He scolded her teasingly. "How unladylike."

"Ha! You have no business lecturing me on refinery, dog. Now, apologize before I gut you," she hissed at him.

"You would do that to your niece's mate? How far will your madness go, Ice Queen?" Jacob joked. Emmett let out a guffaw. He was glad Blondie's mate was a good sport. He didn't know if he had the humor to take on two vampires. Maybe another day…

Rosalie stood still, and she flipped her hair. Well, there was something she was good at. "I didn't say I was going to kill you," she answered snottily. "Just reasonably maim you."

Then, she finally put action to her words. She charged for him, and they tussled in a heap of angry, gyrating bodies on the ground. He caught her foot in his eye, and he growled when a fist grazed his off-limits zone. She grabbed onto his arm, and he tried to wrench free, but Blondie had a grip on her. As her stone bosom knocked against his arm, he tried not to have smutty thoughts. _Tried_, being the key word here.

She groaned as he pulled her back in a headlock, and with all the strength he could muster, he held her there. She struggled for naught, and he delighted in his power over her. Nope, she wasn't going anywhere.

As fun as it sounded to keep Rosalie in a headlock for a few hours, Jake let up his grip and decided to make the stakes interesting. He tossed her forward, and she landed on her elbows in front of him. He put his foot on her bottom and flexed his biceps.

"Victory!" he managed to crow out before Rosalie shoved him off, and he landed on his backside. She stood up, dusted the dirt off, and put the heel of her pointy shoe on his face.

"That's enough, you scoundrel," she said, obviously annoyed. She didn't seem to be intent on gutting him anymore, which Jacob thought was a plus. "Say your sorry, clean out that mess in my closet, and give me money for new clothes, and then, I'll _think_ about accepting your apology."

"How about I just say I'm sorry?" Jacob said with a grin. He really didn't want to clean up blood, and he was broke.

She snarled at him.

"Stop it, you two!" yelled a voice at them. Rosalie and Jacob turned around to see Renesmee with a scowl. "Is this really the way to spend Valentine's Day?"

Emmett smirked. "Yep. I think so."

Renesmee's look showed his comment wasn't welcome. "Now both of you, say your sorry. Jake, I told you this was a bad idea."

Jacob put on his best face for his Nessie. "Um, but it's the thought that counts, right?"

Rosalie groaned and rolled her eyes. "Ugh! I've had enough! I'm going to need like a five year vacation from this family!" She stomped back inside while Emmett followed her in mirth.

Renesmee walked over to Jake, who was still lounging on the ground. She held out her hand. "Come on. Let's go clean up Rosalie's closet together."

Jacob sighed and gave in. "Fine. You're right." He came to his feet and begrudgingly sauntered to the doorway. Of course, he didn't start cleaning until he got in another word. "Why is everyone so serious in this family? Am I the only one that has the fun personality? Stupid bloodsuckers and their sticks up their asses." Renesmee shot him a look. He almost forgot how much she hated that word. "Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"And don't think you're the only fun one, Jake," she said with a reassuring smile. But there was something else in that smile – something mischievous. Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"You should see what my father got her for Valentine's Day." Renesmee tried to hold back her enjoyment. "I believe he said it's in the gas tank of her car."

Jake grinned. "Well then, I knew I was starting to like that guy for a reason."

END


End file.
